My friend steph was flying out to Denver the other day and she mentioned that she did not want to pay for parking for five days (she was flying out of DCA), so I told her that she should park her car at my buddy Steve’s house in Woodbridge. That way, Reifsnyder could drive her to the airport, and I could pick her up after she got back and take her to her car, all for free, since we are such nice guys. She agreed, and two days later, she drove up from Newport News and dropped the car off. That is when we decided that we should punish her for trusting us. I had Reifsnyder take a picture of her car and send it to me, and with a little Photoshop magic, I added a nice, fat dent in the side:
I then had Reifsnyder leave her cryptic messages for a few days, indicating that something had happened to her car, but he did not say what. Finally, on the day she was returning, he sent her the pic and said he did not know what happened. She was understandably shaken up, so she called me to yell. Feigning ignorance, I mentioned that Reifsnyder (a borderline sociopath known for his ridiculous antics) probably hit the car on purpose, because he thinks that sort of thing is funny. She then called him and continued her tirade, only to have Reifsnyder tell her that he was pretty sure that Kenny (Reifsnyder and Steve’s roommate) hit it the other night while drinking, as Kenny had been acting very fishy the past two days and they had not seen nor heard from him; a sure sign that he is up to no good. While Steph prepared to bitch Kenny out and possibly sue him (she is a lawyer), we prepared for stage two of the gag.
Steve works at an auto body collision center, so I had him draw up some paperwork indicating that the car had been fixed, but to the tune of $1500. Then, being the nice guy that I am, I told Steph not to worry, that I had a guy that can take care of this sort of thing and I would see if he could get over there with a suction cup and have the whole thing fixed by the time we got back.
When we finally did arrive, Steph examined her car and was impressed with the workmanship. Reifsnyder’s comment of, “It’s almost as if nothing happened at all.”, was spot on. Then Steve presented her with the bill. That’s when she lost it. She starts up about how she doesn’t have the money to pay, Kenny should pay it, she will have to take care of it later, etc., etc. As I’m sure this put her in a bit of a pissy mood, she was anxious to simply take the bill and split the scene back to Newport News. That’s when Steve told her he couldn’t release the car to her without a $500 deposit. I almost lost it at that point, as Steph really started to get upset. Flanagan (another buddy who was there)’s comment of, “Maybe you should call your mom.” started to crack me up, but I maintained my professional composure.
Steph did not call her mom, but rather her insurance company (I hate smart girls). We didn’t want it progressing outside our circle of awesomeness, for a variety of professional and legal reasons, so that is when we told her the truth. We all had a good laugh, us more so than her. It could be argued that since she did not cry, the mission was a failure, but at least we ruined part of her day, which is payback for her making prank phone calls a few days before. A time-consuming trick, but a small price to pay for the smiting of one’s friends.